Riding Hogs and Losing Pounds

Well, I did it. I "got back on the horse" so to speak, this past weekend. I finally went on my first bike ride since my mom died over 10 years ago. I used to ride quite a bit and loved it so much, but after mom's accident I was intimidated and reluctant.......

It was "just like riding a bike". Once I strapped the helmet on, slid onto the passenger seat and felt the vibrations of the engine coursing through my body, it was the MOST alive I've felt in I don't know how long! The wind in my face, the smell of the fresh night air, the freedom and the feeling like I was floating, all are feelings like no other. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I wasn't scared at all, I was comfortable and having the time of my life. I believe at several points I wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream as if I were on a roller coaster!!! I wish I could ride every single day!

Something else I did last night was get on a scale. I was attempting to prove "my beloved JW" that I did weight almost 200 pounds. The last time I was weighed at the doctor's office 2 months ago I was 198. Well that worked out like a terd in a punchbowl (If you're reading this I know you're smiling). Turns out I'm 180...WHAT!!!??? That means I have not lost 30 pounds, but 45!

Psalm 81:10

"Open wide your mouth and I will fill it" (Psalm 81:10, NIV)

"Do you have your mouth open wide today?" In other words, are you expecting God to fill you and increase you beyond measure? Negative thinking closes you to what God wants to do in your life. If you go around thinking, "Well, I don't think I'll ever meet my sales goals this year with the economy like it is"; or "I don't think I'll ever get promoted. I'm not that qualified"; or "I don't think I'll ever get well", then the problem is that your mouth is barely open. But Jesus said, "According to your faith it will be done unto you." He might as well have said, "If you've got a cup, I'll fill you with a cup level of blessing. If you've got a bucket, I'll fill you with a bucket level of blessing."

Jesus is saying today, why don't you take the limits off? Why don't you believe for supernatural opportunities? Why don't you go out each day expecting increase and promotion? Expect favor, expect peace, expect joy. If you'll go out each day expecting far-and-beyond favor, if you'll "open wide your mouth", you won't be disappointed. He'll fill your cup until it overflows so that you can live the abundant life He has in store for you.

Find Me Here

For those of you trying to find me, you can find me here...Email me if you'd like!

www.myspace.com/carissaannenorth

Before Now and Now

Okay, so I knew my clothes have been falling off of me recently and I've been able to fit into some old clothes that I haven't been able to in a while, but I didn't actually realize the weight I'd lost was that big of a deal. Until I happened to be looking at some photos of mine on my myspace page. I did a side by side comparison....The "Before Now" is when I first moved back here, January 2008. The "Now", was taken at that big karaoke contest January of this year! I don't know if you'll see the difference, but MAN, I sure do!

iPod Oopsie

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need To fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember......

......you've been listening to your ipod.

Been a While

Seems like it's been a while since I've posted here. Most everything I do now is on MySpace. So much is happening and it's been like a roller coaster ride here, but a good one! Stay tuned....I'll post more on what's been happening shortly...

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When I Grow Up...

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me.... selling a shovel. Mrs. Harrington

God and Pain

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen...

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things." The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

"You know what? Barbers do not exist." "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! But they have to come to me." "Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.

That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

And That's When the Fight Started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.''My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...
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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.I really need you to pay me a compliment.'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....
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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

and then the fight started.....
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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap.That must be my husband!'So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?""No," she answered.I then said, "Is that your final answer?"She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....